Long time not writing as i always found an excuse to escape from writing :))No, seriously i really think i have to get back to my blog again regularly. I don’t know, i guess one post every week is reasonable right? I hope i don’t sound too much; let’s see.
This post i will cover about our move to Buc, a small suburb close to Versailles, ans all the big changement that happened to our family and (of course how we deal with it).
We moved to Buc in the end of spring, supposed to be nice weather, perfect to adapt to new environment, but it ended up in contrary. As you all perhaps noticed a big weather changement in 2016, same as here. Raining was still pouring down until late of july, it was unusual and rare just like this life sometimes. We move into a pleasant residence neighbourhood which unsurprisingly so calm and quite. Most of our neighbours are not (so) as young as our family, their children are a lot more older than Gladys, and some of them are welcoming their grand children in the weekend. I hope you can imagine the situation of our neighbourhood here, charming but fad or a bit tasteless
At least that how i felt a month after we moved in or almost to Gladys’ 2nd birthday. I felt exhausting and drained a lot more than before but i couldn’t exactly define it. I felt miserable because somehow i lost the rythm of my morning ritual because she always woke up before me (i wasn’t sure if it’s because her way of adapting the new environment or was it anything else) and asked for more breastmilk. I didn’t know what was all about.. but for sure, for the first time i felt i wanted to quit breastfeeding her because everytime i breastfeeded her, it was like no end, hours and hours or sometimes she asked every several minutes, i mean it started to be unreasonable. Maybe it was just me, or maybe i made it up ? i don’t know but i decided i will wean her before her 2nd birthday, it was decided and i didn’t regret it. I talked to Gilles about it and basically i got all his support. It was the best decision yet quite challenging to do it
Gladys had half week full of tears and cry, asking for mom’s milk but i was tough as rock and so did Gilles, he was my shield in the night, he would read her bedtime stories over and over again. And when i couldn’t stand it anymore, i made her choose, sleep with parents or with her papa (both without milk) and she chose to sleep with us. It took only three days actually to understand that mom’s milk is no longer for her because she is a big girl now who eat and drink almost everything. At the 4th day, she started able to ease herself and she would do a lil bit caresse to my breast before she really fall asleep.
What i felt after i wean her was nothing but regain my energy and spirit back. I know some of mothers out there are disagree of what i did because (maybe) i made her crying too much when she’s already tired and sleepy. But hey, we’ll never be fit in any other shoes, right? For me, as long as i don’t manipulate or lying her to stop milking me, i’d take that option, to reclaim and recenter myself back. I realized, it was so hard to do it and ain’t easy at all but (again) i don’t regret it because i appreciate thoughts and actions that aim to improve myself.
I will cheerish every breastfeeding moments with her, those without any doubts are the most precious moments of being a mother to me. Through breastfeeding i was not only fed her with nutrients but we also nourish each other soul with love. An unbreakable bonding. It was a lifetime lil prideness to myself.
Last, thank you Gladys for being such an understanding lil kid, sometimes i believe you are a kid with an old mature soul within. And thank you Gilles, to support me in every single thing i stand for. You both are meaningful
Written with love
27 jan 2017